Shocking News

Two totally shocking recent news stories:

1. Paris Hilton looks dumb
   
2. Osama bin Laden wants to attack US
   

Who would ever believe it? A dumb blonde who appears to be a dumb blonde, and a terrorist who wants to commit acts of terrorism. What is the world coming to? And this breaking news from southeast Wisconsin. I can provide eyewitness testimony that the sun rose in the sky this morning. The wonders never cease.

As James Bond said in Goldfinger, shocking.